No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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