your parents love me but you hate me
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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