Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
