i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
