Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
