Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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