I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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