A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
