I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
