we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
