4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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