hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize