And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize