this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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