Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
