Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
