I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
