rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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