Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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