Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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