If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
