Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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