I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
