Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Blood and glitter go together right?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
