So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
