i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
