drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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