Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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