she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
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