using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i need some magic done to my vagina
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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