is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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