hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
