Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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