porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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