Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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