He disabled his match.com account in front of me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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