He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
