youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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