If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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