When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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