My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
