A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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