lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
