I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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