why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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