I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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