what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
dude. I can hear the air.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
