I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
