your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
