guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
