Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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