i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize