I like to think it a success when the cops are called
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize