Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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