I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
only you would photoshop your dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
