I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
