I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
