take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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