forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
