every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
