yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have fence marks all over my body
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
