woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
it was like eating out sand paper
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
