Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
