dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
