I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
