Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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