i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
