You work out of a Hotel?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
