I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
