He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
