My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
