we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
