he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
