I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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