just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
